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Websites and dating apps are extremely popular ways to meet. Here are some of the more popular options: OkCupid, Match. If you're not out, use OKCupid's ability to hide your profile from straight people.

Most mainstream dating apps tend to pair lesbians with men, unbelievable as that is. Anecdotally, Hinge might be an exception.

Make friends in the community. If you volunteered for one pride event and already met the woman of your dreams, congratulations — you're luckier than most.

For everyone else, take the long term view and form lasting friendships in your local lesbian and bisexual community. The dating pool is not the largest, and you'll probably see many of the same faces at different events.

If you can laugh off a bad first date and sympathize with fellow searchers, you'll make more contacts and be ready for more opportunities. More importantly, you'll become part of a supportive community.

Part 2 of Build confidence. It's normal to be shy when you approach someone you find attractive. Do your best to stay positive and friendly no matter what happens, and you'll gain confidence with practice.

An easygoing attitude makes you more attractive, and makes you feel better as well. A supportive female wingman can help if you need the encouragement.

Just don't act too friendly, or the girl across the room might think you're a couple. The "is she straight? Making your moves in LGBT spaces can reduce your anxiety, especially when you're new to the experience.

Make eye contact and smile. If you don't have a ready-made icebreaker, such as a mutual friend to introduce you, this should be your first step.

If she holds eye contact for a couple seconds, smiles back, or repeatedly glances in your direction, take it as an invitation to approach.

Flirting can be as simple as these three steps: Turn your whole body to face her, smile, and hold eye contact while she speaks. Drop an occasional small compliment her eyes, her accessories, something she told you about that you find cool.

If she's responding well, brush your hand against her arm, or lean in to whisper something into her ear. Ask her out. Don't be afraid to strike while the iron is hot.

If she's been talking to you for five or ten minutes and seems happy, there's a good chance she's interested.

And frankly, if it turns out she's straight, you'd rather find out sooner than later. If you get her number, call her again after a day or two and arrange your first date.

Part 3 of Be yourself. The idea of dating someone is to find out if the two of you are right for each other.

Pretending to be something you're not hinders this process and will likely lead to problems later on. If this is your first time dating a woman, or if you're unsure of your sexuality, say so.

If you're in the closet with your family, coworkers, or friends, talk about that once it's clear this relationship could go somewhere.

Not everyone is willing to be your experiment, or to be introduced as "just a friend" to your parents. Rough as it is to close the door on a relationship, it will only get more painful if you delay the conversation.

Equally, if you've been out for years and your date is more private about her identity, talk to her about it. Learn each other's comfort zones early on.

Get to know each other. Talk about your interests, and ask about hers. The first few dates are about forming a connection.

Ask her follow-up questions "How often do you go there? If she seems reluctant to talk, switch to a light-hearted topic to make her comfortable.

Avoid getting too personal. Save that for later, when a more lasting commitment is on the table. Never talk about your past relationships on a date.

It can be hard to avoid mentioning a name if you've been dating a while in a close-knit lesbian community, but that doesn't mean your date needs to hear about your sex life or emotional bond with another person.

Talk about your expectations. Honest communication is the most important part of any relationship. This is even more vital if one or both of you are fairly new to same-sex dating or dating in general , and may have unclear expectations for social situations.

Apparently minor etiquette issues such as who pays for the meal can add unnecessary tension. Relax and have a conversation before assuming it's a personal insult.

You are not reenacting a heterosexual relationship, and you don't need to assign "the man" and "the woman" roles.

Contrary to some stereotypes, open relationships are not common among lesbians. If exclusivity or the lack of it is important to you, discuss it before someone gets hurt.

Keep it exciting. If you like where this is going, put in the effort to keep it new. Date nights on exciting activities, heart-to-heart talks, and small, intimate moments are the lifeblood of a relationship.

There's no standard amount of time or number of dates before you bring up the word "girlfriend," but if you're both happy and interested, the moment will come.

What can I do if I like my lesbian friend who just broke up with her girlfriend? Give her some time to process her emotions; it's not healthy to jump immediately from one relationship to another.

Be there for her, provide support and comfort, and when she's ready to date again, let her know that you're interested. Not Helpful 15 Helpful Yes, absolutely.

Many people start to get crushes and have romantic or sexual feelings at your age, or even a little younger.

You can absolutely know you're gay when you're 11, and don't let anyone tell you otherwise. Not Helpful 34 Helpful I like my bisexual friend, and she knows that I'm lesbian.

Should I tell her how I feel and see how she reacts to see if she feels the same? You should tell her. She probably feels the same way, you never know what she's thinking.

Not Helpful 21 Helpful My girlfriend broke up with me. I got asked out the day after by a really cute girl, but I declined. It's been a month now and I really want to go out with her now that I'm ready.

How can I ask her out? Things are always so awkward around us now. You can explain to her why you declined her and ask if she's still interested.

Just say, "Hey, I know I said no to you when you asked me out a while back because I had just broken up with my girlfriend and wasn't really ready to go out with someone new.

But if you're still interested, I'd like to go out with you. Not Helpful 27 Helpful I am a boy and attracted to a girl.

She says that she is a lesbian. She doesn't look like one, and I want to have a relationship with her. What kind of approach must I use? You don't have to 'look like' a lesbian to be one.

Not all lesbians look a certain way, just as straight people can look all kinds of ways. If she says she is a lesbian, you have to respect that.

You can't change someone's sexuality, and you can't force yourself on someone, regardless of their sexuality. Not Helpful 77 Helpful Try rubbing her shoulder, holding her hand, or playing with her hair.

If she smiles, smile back at her and tell her how pretty or hot she looks. Then move in for a kiss. Small gestures can be very romantic. Why does my friend, a girl, always hold onto my arm and rest her head on my shoulder?

Some girls are just affectionate with their friends like that. So it could mean nothing, or it could mean she has feelings for you.

It's hard to tell just from this information. If you're interested in her romantically, you should ask her. At what age do I start having sexual feelings?

I am 12, which seems young, but I often stare at girls more. Am I a lesbian? You can start questioning at any age. You are not necessarily lesbian, you could be bisexual if you like boys as well, or you could just be curious.

There's no rush to figure these things out, it will likely become more clear in time. Not Helpful 12 Helpful You could tell them that, honestly, they're nice and you value their friendship, if applicable , but you're just not interested in that kind of relationship with them.

If they're persistent, be firm -- once you've told them no, you shouldn't have to continue to invest yourself in shielding them from reality. Not Helpful 23 Helpful If you think that lead singer is attractive, you're probably not alone.

Spend more time socializing. You don't need to attend a rainbow-themed roller derby club to meet other lesbians. The more time you spend in social activities, the better the chance of meeting people who catch your interest.

Whether it's attending classes at a community center or joining a sports team, picking up a hobby is a great way to meet like-minded people.

Even just starting conversations at the gym or getting to know progressive coworkers can help you make friends, and potentially something more.

Small towns may only have one or two locations where LGBT people are comfortable meeting openly. In that case, it may be easier to make your first connections with that community online or through LGBT events.

Go out to places on your own sometimes instead of always going out with friends. You're more likely to be approached by someone if you're by yourself.

Learn to drop the hint. Misconstrued signals are a perennial problem for lesbians trying to date in straight spaces, especially for people who fall more on the femme side of the spectrum.

If you don't want to spend an evening becoming a straight girl's new friend, you'll have to muster up some confidence and make it obvious what you're there for.

Make a casual reference to an ex-girlfriend or a comment about how you'd love to date that hot, female celebrity. Mention an LGBT event you attended, and see whether she reacts positively.

Volunteering at activist meetings and charity events is a great way to become involved in the LGBT community.

You get to work for organizations that represent your values, and meet other lesbians at the same time. Find your comfort level when dating from the closet.

It is much more difficult to date another lesbian if your sexuality is a secret. Besides the scarcity of comfortable opportunities to signal your intent, many lesbians in LGBT-friendly areas are not interested in a closeted relationship.

If coming out would risk your safety or the health of important relationships in your life, or if you're just not ready, think carefully about the level of public disclosure you are willing to make.

A few options include: Coming out to close friends who are unlikely to spread the word back to your family and coworkers. Traveling to neighboring towns where you can be open in public with a lower chance of seeing someone you know.

Discreet online dating, as described below. This can be a great way to expand your comfort zone. Method 2 of Figure out what you're looking for.

For many newly out or closeted lesbians, online dating is their first opportunity to feel accepted, flirt, and overcome introversion about their sexuality.

Maybe that's all your looking for, maybe you're looking for casual sex, or maybe you're interested in long-term romantic relationships. Think about your comfort level and what your goals are before you enter the digital dating world.

Choose a dating service. The LGBT online dating scene has grown tremendously in the past ten years. Here are a few of the more popular sites and apps: LGBT-specific: Her lesbian-only dating and social networking , Chemistry.

Hinge seems to tailor results for LGBT people better than other "swipe" apps. Protect your privacy. Online dating has its perils, so don't take chances.

Keep your personal information private, use a free email without your real name, and meet up with strangers in public locations.

In addition, if you are not out to everyone in your life, take extra steps to prevent nosy employers or family members from finding you.

Most sites allow you to hide your profile until you've agreed to accept communications from someone, but this option makes it harder to make connections.

Ok Cupid has an "I don't want to be seen by straight people" checkbox in the privacy settings. Chances are good that your straight friends won't be browsing an LGBT-only dating site.

Just make sure the profile doesn't show up when you google your name. Be clear about what you're looking for. Unfortunately, there is a minor plague of straight women contacting lesbians for a threesome with their boyfriend.

Forestall some of this — and make your intentions clear to other lesbians — with a clear, direct description in your bio.

Yes, you should talk to her. Lesbians are people too. It's not like they have the plague or something. Not Helpful 14 Helpful There's no exact way to tell if she's a lesbian, lesbians are just like everybody else; but you could bring it up casually, like asking about her "boyfriend".

If she's says she isn't attracted to males, then bingo, but if she's says she wants one, you may be out of luck unless she's bisexual.

It'd best to bring it up casually. Not Helpful 6 Helpful If you want a less direct approach, you could try downloading a lesbian dating app like the HER app or something similar.

Not Helpful 3 Helpful Ask her. If you know the girl well enough, just bring it up in conversation.

If you've only just met, hint at the fact that you are, then try to bring it up later on. Not Helpful 8 Helpful If you are a woman and you're attracted exclusively to women, then you're a lesbian.

If you're also attracted to men, you're probably bisexual. You have to determine for yourself what attracts you.

Not Helpful 11 Helpful Telling her will probably make things awkward for a while, but assuming she's not homophobic that should pass if you give her a little space.

The alternative is often more awkward, if you're obsessing over her and having trouble acting normal. As for how to tell her, just be direct and honest.

Don't make it sound like you're hitting on her, and explain that you needed to clear the air. If she doesn't know you're gay yet, come out to her and leave the rest for another conversation.

Not Helpful 5 Helpful What if I'm a young person and I'm not allowed to get dating apps? And my family doesn't know I'm lesbian?

What if I like one of my close friends? Do I tell them I'm lesbian and that I like them? Don't download dating apps if you are younger than You never know of any potential risks online.

Your family not knowing is perfectly okay -- only let them know when you're ready to come out. If you like a close friend then that's awesome!

However, I would make sure that she is into girls as well. I myself have fallen for straight girls before and trust me it was messy.

If she isn't into girls, fair enough. That is your cue to move on. Just remember that there is no rush to get into a relationship.

When it's meant to happen, it will. There's nothing you really need to do. It's fine if you both have a crush on the same person.

If the girl is romantically interested in one of you, she can let you know. Unless she is bisexual, probably only one of you has an actual chance to potentially date her.

You can always move to a place that allows gay marriage.

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What if I'm a young person and I'm not allowed to get dating apps? And my family doesn't know I'm lesbian?

What if I like one of my close friends? Do I tell them I'm lesbian and that I like them? Don't download dating apps if you are younger than You never know of any potential risks online.

Your family not knowing is perfectly okay -- only let them know when you're ready to come out. If you like a close friend then that's awesome!

However, I would make sure that she is into girls as well. I myself have fallen for straight girls before and trust me it was messy.

If she isn't into girls, fair enough. That is your cue to move on. Just remember that there is no rush to get into a relationship.

When it's meant to happen, it will. There's nothing you really need to do. It's fine if you both have a crush on the same person. If the girl is romantically interested in one of you, she can let you know.

Unless she is bisexual, probably only one of you has an actual chance to potentially date her. You can always move to a place that allows gay marriage.

Also, remember that while gay marriage might be banned, being in a same-sex relationship might not be. You can still be free to love whoever you wish, and be in a relationship with her.

Not Helpful 17 Helpful You could try dating both boys and girls. There are many sexuality types, such as bi-romantic homosexual, gay, or gyneromantic bisexual romantically attracted to women but sexually attracted to both men and women.

Take your time to figure it out; there is no need to rush. Include your email address to get a message when this question is answered.

There are many lesbian online communities where you can seek support, ask advice, and make friends. Helpful 0 Not Helpful 0. There's no secret signal that identifies someone as a lesbian.

If you're good at readying body language and flirting cues, you can tell when someone is attracted to you. It's best to avoid jumping to conclusions based on fashion choices and haircuts, or at least anything more subtle than a rainbow bracelet.

Submit a Tip All tip submissions are carefully reviewed before being published. Some "out" lesbians are reluctant to date people still exploring their sexuality or entering the LGBT dating scene for the first time.

If that applies to you and you live somewhere with an established LGBT community, consider how you're presenting yourself on dating sites and in introductions.

Being up front about your status may help you find better matches, but you may prefer to make connections first and have the conversation once you know each other a little better.

Related wikiHows. Expert Interview. About This Article. Co-authored by:. Co-authors: Updated: September 3, Article Summary X If you haven't had any luck finding the LGBT community in your area, you might want to try finding other lesbians online.

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